At first, we felt we were quite optimistic to think we would get over 1,000 completed results to the Sex, Lies & Religion survey. Imagine our surprise, when in just 13 short days and after only 32 Tweets and one mass e-mail to around 2,000 people, we met our goal. We live in an amazing social media world.
It was eye-opening to attend a party with friends a few days ago, and when asked if they had taken the survey, responded they did not believe for a moment that the survey was anonymous. And these are people that know me personally and trust me.
One Twitter Direct Message to me: “Randy, please, please don’t tell anyone I took this survey, I will lose my job as a church staff member.”
Can’t help but wonder what the response would have been if everyone truly felt safe and anonymous.
A letter to the editor in the August 2009 issue of Redbook Magazine concerning a June issue article: “Have Faith In Your Sex Life” reads, “I would not be comfortable sitting in a church hearing a sermon on sex. I think the state of my intimacy with my husband should be just that-intimate! The church has no business delving into the private relations of its members. I don’t like talking about sex with my husband, let alone with church members or the pastor.”
I am now more convinced than ever, that the time for this book is NOW.
Survey Facts:
- Our survey, according to the http://surveysystem.com calculator, is accurate to within plus or minus 3 points.
- We have 1024 completions as of today, and over 1771 people visited and completed partial surveys in just 15 days.
Counselor Lucille Zimmerman had an interesting comment on my Facebook about this phenomenon. “Randy don’t you think that’s so funny that you got so many partials. As a psych person, it tells me so much about us (Christians) and how uptight we are re: “sex” That definitely needs a mention in your book!”
- 93% (941) have a religious affiliation
- 90% (907) are between ages 19-50
- 79% (796) are married
- 47% (468) are not satisfied with their sex life
- 70% (721) have sex one or more times per week
- 82% (804) talk about sex with their partner at least once a month
- 31% (309) say they fantasize during sex, but only 13% (124) fantasize together
- 61% (626) say they masturbate at least once a week
- 80% (784) feel that sex helps partners to grow together spiritually
- Survey respondents overwhelmingly embrace the secular philosophy of dualism (77% – 769)
- While 45% (456) say they know what Tantric sex is, only 5% (51) have ever practiced it
- 80% (807) say they are familiar with The Kama Sutra, but only 29% (288) have utilized Kama Sutra positions
- Only 57% (574) believe nudity in art is okay, while 55% (543) would allow nudity in specified public places (i.e.topless beaches)
- 60% (601) say that religion has had negative or no impact on their sexual enjoyment
- One of every two respondents think religion has a negative view of sex (52% – 530 responded negative)
The fantasy descriptions (individual and together) will provide a fascinating and eye-opening opportunity and study for the book.
In retrospect, there are many ways we could have improved the survey. Provided more options, given more opportunity for comments and more. It was a huge learning opportunity for us and the response was overwhelming. Thanks for your patience.
As a widow, who had a good sex life while it lasted, I was annoyed that there was no way of commenting that you were celibate. I enjoy sex, but until and unless I remarry, I can’t have it. So, some of the questions were not possible to answer totally honestly, since I haven’t had intercourse since my husband died.
Come on, guys, get REAL here. Not all of us are gettin’ it, no matter what we might like to do otherwise. There are plenty of us who are celibate.
DJ
I agree w/ DJ. Not including any information about singles who choose celibacy based on religious beliefs seems like a huge oversight…
Ladies,
I am afraid we may not be making ourselves clear. This book is not about the single celibate life. It is focused on sexual activity, not the absence thereof.
The book could obviously go myriad ways, but we have decided to focus on sexual relationships and activity and how religion affects and effects them.
I hope there are books that deal with the issues you guys are raising. If not, then I hope someone else will write something. Maybe one of you.
Thanks for your comments,
Randy
It is the reason I did not finish the survey. I got so far and then I could not answer accurately. As in, I am not currently sexually active, being single, but while I was married, answers pertained, but did not give options to answer that way.
I agree with these ladies, and it is also the reason I could not complete the survey. I have never been married and I am still a virgin. Randy, it’s not that we’re looking for you to write a book for us. We’re just responding to the one woman’s comment about so many people not completing the survey. We’re not uptight! We just didn’t have options to answer all of the questions. Maybe we shouldn’t have taken the survey?
As Randy said, this was a SEX survey. If you are not having it then it did not apply. I would not take a BMW survey because I do not own BMW.
Thanks, Lauren.
I understand now that you are responding to the comment about the many incompletes. That makes sense. I tried to say at the end of the post that we would do the survey a little different, if we had it to do over. But, we don’t.
And the survey really accomplished far more than I could have dreamed. It was a huge success. While I understand why a single celibate could not finish the survey, I still feel that many people who are sexually active did not finish it as well because of fear and misunderstanding. Just by virtue of the numbers and the answers/comments to some of the questions.
Thanks so much for the clarification.
Rephrasing the questions to include previous relationships would help a lot for those of us not in a relationship but that do have experiences with sex. I understand how the celibate option is not included in the survey, however, I’m not celibate and yet couldn’t answer the questions.
However, I also get why people wouldn’t answer all questions honestly. You are asking a lot here, a lot of personal things. Things that scientific studies usually don’t include. For a minute there, I wondered if I had stumbled on to a sleazy site..