Sex, Lies & Religion

“At the heart of pornography is sexuality haunted by its own disappearance” – Jean Baudrillard

Dear Porn,

Where do I draw the line between you and art? How do I know the difference? You are so subtle and enticing…confusing. You don’t care if I’m male or female. You just want my body. You don’t give a damn about my soul. Oh wait, maybe that’s exactly what you’re trying to do to my soul.

You gradually erode my artistic creativity and squander my time. You fill my heart with guilt and numb my senses. And so my eyes become cloudy and dark and ultimately opaque. Why is that humans with my artistic temperament seem locked in an endless struggle with you? Is it truly a battle for my heart? Could it possibly be true that every longing for your delights is, at its core, a longing for intimacy with God? Do I want intimacy so desperately I will seek it anywhere?

Why is it every person that struggles with you also seem to be the most fun to be around? And the ones that don’t struggle as much seem so cold and dull and black and white? Is there a correlation?  If you were around in Bible times, I’m pretty sure King David and Solomon and John would have struggled with you. Peter and Paul maybe not so much – they had other issues. Oh yeah, they were human just like us, we all have issues. We just like to condemn the ones we don’t struggle with.

How can I know the difference between beauty and pornography? (excerpted from Sex, Lies & Religion). “When we take off our clothes in lovemaking, it represents a revealing of sexual and spiritual secrets between lovers. Therefore the truthful artist, in depicting exposed flesh and the intense passion of the sex act, speaks in a way that portrays both a spiritual and sensual communion. In many works that overemphasize titillating aspects, the artist doesn’t show too much, but on the contrary, he shows too little.

When these spiritual and sensual elements mysteriously connect the artist with the viewer, there is a sense of satisfaction and revelation. The wholeness provides the viewer, as Luigi Galvani calls it, ‘an enchantment of the heart.’ But this is vastly different from the act of viewing pornography. The actors in a pornographic film are portrayed as partial rather than whole beings. In fact, once a perception of completeness enters the story (for example, realizing the character is someone’s son or daughter who possibly has been abused and coerced) it diminishes the pornography’s ability to titillate.

The pornographer causes the viewer to subjectively respond to the person or act portrayed only as a means of personal gratification. Creators of pornography sell a perception that sexual fulfillment represents the only value of a person and that meaning exists only in fleshly aspects. There is no opportunity to respond to either the wholeness or harmony of that person or to the mysteries and radiance of the sexual act. As far as the question of radiance, there remains no ‘all is right in the world’ feeling, or leaving a better person, or a sense of the lingering presence of true beauty.

Another test of art versus pornography is whether the subject’s nudity makes him or her seem more or less human. Does it enable you to identify with the subject, or does it distance you from the subject, allowing you to view that figure as an object rather than as a complete person? Within the context of love, a mutual giving and receiving takes place, leading to the orgasmic pleasure of sexual intimacy. Through intercourse, we share with our lover what is ours to give. This personal giving and receiving unites our souls so exclusively, that for another person to view or partake in the sharing of this erotic gift violates an exclusive communion. There remains no room for a ménage a trois.”

It’s important to know this ménage a trois can occur with three humans, or as a threesome between a human, porn and God. And we know what God says about that – He wants nothing between us and Him. He wants our longings to find their object in Him. A sensual God desires to know us intimately. He calls for all our spiritual and physical senses to be fully alive!

Not deadened and darkened and damned by pornography.

Sensuously,

Randy

P.S. I write extensively about this subject that religion rarely addresses, especially how to know the difference between art and pornography in “Sex, Lies & Religion”.

Woo Hoo! Sex! From the beginning sex was God’s idea. All that God made was good. We forget that, because we have smudged its purity with our polluted perspectives and sinful tendencies. Randy shares from a full-heart about people and our passion. You may find yourself at times uncomfortable and at other times you may outright disagree, but I promise you will be challenged to make a fresh assessment regarding the lovely blend of your sexuality and your spirituality.

- Patsy Clairmont, author of “Kaleidescope,” “Catching Fireflies”

“This is a brave book! For ages, the Church has failed to acknowledge a connection between the believer’s sexuality and spirituality. I have personally experienced this grand disconnect. I’m thankful for Randy’s wisdom as he offers to us that our Creator might express His unfathomable love for us through healthy sexuality.”

–Charlie Lowell, Jars of Clay

Sex, Lies & Religion has become a phenomenal resource for my patients who are struggling with the discrepancies within the truth of sexuality. I truly enjoyed this book from both a professional and personal standpoint. It was refreshing to hear about the author’s personal experiences that led to his sexual “yada.” I think everyone can gain insight into sexual intimacy from this book!

–Brooke Faught, A.P.N., M.S.N., Nurse Practitioner/Clinical
Director Women’s Institute for Sexual Health

I can’t tell you how excited I am about this book. More than ever before Christians need to find freedom from the sexual lies today’s culture and religion have forced upon them.

–Pete Wilson, Lead Pastor, Cross Point Church, Nashville, TN

Randy Elrod presents a thoroughly researched paradigm shift in the way spiritual people approach sex. He is talking to Christians in this book (the brave soul,) but I think it calls to those who have cast away their Christian faith as well. Elrod writes with the pen of an artist, philosopher and poet, painting pictures that glisten with supernatural love, acceptance and eroticism. He embraces the idea that ALL we do can be spiritual and draw us closer to God.

–Gina Parris, www.ginaparris.com

Sunday School Teachers – Beware!, March 19, 2010

It is not often that I open a book by a minister and immediately find a description of his euphoric sex-on-the-beach encounter with his wife as a sacred experience. That is when I realized two things about this book:

* 1. Not everyone will like this material.

* 2. I will probably love it.

Randy Elrod presents a thoroughly researched paradigm shift in the way spiritual people approach sex. He is talking to Christians in this book (the brave soul,) but I think it calls to those who have cast away their Christian faith as well.

Sex, Lies and Religion is in its own words, “controversially redemptive” in its purpose. Controversial because not all people can reconcile paragraphs that deal with the very practical i.e. “how to use a vibrator to make erections last longer,” with the spiritual concept of intercourse symbolizing intimacy with our passionate Redeemer.

As Elrod delves into how to masturbate without going blind OR becoming a pervert, many a Sunday School Teacher may blush in horror (While students from 12 to 120 may cheer out loud.) When he deals with the lies about fantasy (ergoing the football kind) he offers compassionate clues into the yearnings of humanity.

Whether tackling lies about nudity, gender equality, self-pleasure, sexual fantasy or “yada,yada, yada,” he continually offers truth to set the reader free from condemnation. Elrod writes with the pen of an artist, philosopher and poet, painting pictures that glisten with supernatural love, acceptance and eroticism. He scoffs at the religious notion that the body is evil and unspiritual. He embraces the idea that ALL we do can be spiritual and draw us closer to God.

If I have any concerns with this book it would be that it is sometimes so deep and idealistic that its beauty may be lost on the average guy who likes to drink beer and play poker on his non-church days. The song of songs after all, calls not just to poets and philosphers but to all who have ever yearned to give and receive true love. It is in the presence of such overwhelming goodness, that vices and “unholiness” lose their appeal.

I love the book Sex, Lies, and Religion. Not just because it dares to go where no minister has gone before, but because it vibrates (no pun intended) with life that is abundant, love that is undefiled, and redemption that is complete.