Sex, Lies & Religion

At first, we felt we were quite optimistic to think we would get over 1,000 completed results to the Sex, Lies & Religion survey. Imagine our surprise, when in just 13 short days and after only 32 Tweets and one mass e-mail to around 2,000 people, we met our goal. We live in an amazing social media world.

It was eye-opening to attend a party with friends a few days ago, and when asked if they had taken the survey, responded  they did not believe for a moment that the survey was anonymous. And these are people that know me personally and trust me.

One Twitter Direct Message to me: “Randy, please, please don’t tell anyone I took this survey, I will lose my job as a church staff member.”

Can’t help but wonder what the response would have been if everyone truly felt safe and anonymous.

A letter to the editor in the August 2009 issue of Redbook Magazine concerning a June issue article: “Have Faith In Your Sex Life” reads, “I would not be comfortable sitting in a church hearing a sermon on sex. I think the state of my intimacy with my husband should be just that-intimate! The church has no business delving into the private relations of its members. I don’t like talking about sex with my husband, let alone with church members or the pastor.”

I am now more convinced than ever, that the time for this book is NOW.

Survey Facts:

• Our survey, according to the http://surveysystem.com calculator, is accurate to within plus or minus 3 points.
• We have 1024 completions as of today, and over 1771 people visited and completed partial surveys in just 15 days.

Counselor Lucille Zimmerman had an interesting comment on my Facebook about this phenomenon. “Randy don’t you think that’s so funny that you got so many partials. As a psych person, it tells me so much about us (Christians) and how uptight we are re: “sex” That definitely needs a mention in your book!”

• 93% (941) have a religious affiliation
• 90% (907) are between ages 19-50
• 79% (796) are married
• 47% (468) are not satisfied with their sex life
• 70% (721) have sex one or more times per week
• 82% (804) talk about sex with their partner at least once a month
• 31% (309) say they fantasize during sex, but only 13% (124) fantasize together
• 61% (626) say they masturbate at least once a week
• 80% (784) feel that sex helps partners to grow together spiritually
• Survey respondents overwhelmingly embrace the secular philosophy of dualism (77% – 769)
• While 45% (456) say they know what Tantric sex is, only 5% (51) have ever practiced it
• 80% (807) say they are familiar with The Kama Sutra, but only 29% (288) have utilized Kama Sutra positions
• Only 57% (574) believe nudity in art is okay, while 55% (543) would allow nudity in specified public places (i.e.topless beaches)
• 60% (601) say that religion has had negative or no impact on their sexual enjoyment
• One of every two respondents think religion has a negative view of sex (52% – 530 responded negative)

The fantasy descriptions (individual and together) will provide a fascinating and eye-opening opportunity and study for the book.

In retrospect, there are many ways we could have improved the survey. Provided more options, given more opportunity for comments and more. It was a huge learning opportunity for us and the response was overwhelming. Thanks for your patience.